It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I have post one night stand depression
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
