if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
