hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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