you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
