You're my little dorito
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
