grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
