Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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