And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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