I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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