Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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