we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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