im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
