kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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