Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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