they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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