Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
