im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
