Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
did i just pee glitter
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
