Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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