Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
