im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
