I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
