Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
