I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
