she looked like the before picture.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
