Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
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