If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
