I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
why is half of my head shaved?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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