I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He kissed a someone with a penis
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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