There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
