I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
