Your tits are I can't wait for
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
