Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
