the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
so let's talk penis.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
