My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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