I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
