come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
