your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
