I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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