This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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