GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
