ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
