You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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