she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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