love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
