The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
