I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
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