just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
