Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
