He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
