he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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